Barber Quotes

“There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
and the vermin of the world inhabit it
and its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit
and it goes by the name of London.
At the top of the hole sit the privileged few
Making mock of the vermin in the lonely zoo
turning beauty to filth and greed...
I too have sailed the world and seen its wonders,
for the cruelty of men is as wonderous as Peru
but there's no place like London!”
― Stephen Sondheim, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

“TODD:
The history of the world, my love --
LOVETT:
Save a lot of graves,
Do a lot of relatives favors!
TODD:
Is those below serving those up above!
LOVETT:
Ev'rybody shaves,
So there should be plenty of flavors!
TODD:
How gratifying for once to know
BOTH:
That those above will serve those down below!”
― Stephen Sondheim, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

“Let Pirelli's / Miracle Elixir / Activate your roots, sir...

Keep it off your boots, sir- / Eats right through.

Yes, get Pirelli's! / Use a bottle of it! / Ladies seem to love it...

Flies do, too!”
― Stephen Sondheim, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

“Goods are traded, but services are consumed and produced in the same place. And you cannot export a haircut. But we are coming close to exporting a haircut, the appointment part. What kind of haircut do you want? Which barber do you want? All those things can and will be done by a call center far away.”
― Thomas L. Friedman, The World Is Flat: A Brief History of the Twenty-first Century

“In a way the philosopher and the barber are of the same guild; the barber cuts hair and the philosopher splits hairs.”
― José Ortega y Gasset, Man and People (Norton Library

“Growth of human hair is the absolute blessing for a barber”
― Munia Khan

“Every barber thinks everybody needs a haircut.”
― M.F. Moonzajer

“One of the hardest things for a man to find is a good wife and a good barber”
― Sotero M Lopez II

“A jobless barber shall learn new hairstyles”
― Sir P.S. Jagadeesh Kumar

“A jobless barber shall learn new hairstyles and a jobbed barber shall learn new ways to pluck others hair”
― P.S. Jagadeesh Kumar

“Do you trust your barber enough to close your eyes during a haircut?”
― Sarvesh Jain

“The barber’s shop and the beauty salon are social media where everyone receives news alert.”
― Vincent Okay Nwachukwu, Weighty 'n' Worthy African Proverbs - Volume 1

“Sitting on a barber’s swivel chair transforms you to a dummy where you comply without complain. It metamorphoses him into Commander-In-Chief of all dummies. He bombards you with a barrage of orders; turn behind, return middle, move your ear, remove your head. What!”
― Vincent Okay Nwachukwu, Weighty 'n' Worthy African Proverbs - Volume 1