Jerks Quotes

“In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.”
― Bill Watterson

“You talk too damn much and too damn much of it is about you.”
― Raymond Chandler, The Long Goodbye

“There are four kinds of people to avoid in the world: the assholes, the asswipes, the ass-kissers, and those that just will shit all over you.”
― Anthony Liccione

“Girls can be so petty and jealous. I swear they're worse than guys sometimes. Except they're all quiet about it. They sugarcoat it or else they talk behind each other's backs. It's seriously twisted.”
― Melody Carlson, The Jerk Magnet

“I will never grow thick skin so that you don't have to feel bad about being a jerk to me.”
― Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing: The Best of Year One

“I believe all people are assholes. You won't find anyone that you like. You'll just find someone you dislike a little less than the last asshole. And I can't wait for that day. To have a woman that I can say I dislike a little less than all the other assholes.”
― Travis Jeremiah Dahnke, Write like no one is reading

“It is my sincere desire that my research and hard work will help create a world where we all learn to walk this Earth, safe, enlightened and free from the perils of cruelty, ignorance, and all the other dark and sinister forces, which make assholes possible.”
― Alexei Maxim Russell, Alexei Maxim Russell's Field Guide to Assholes

“One negative voice aimed at me has the incredible power to drown out a thousand positive ones. One of the greatest things I can achieve is to never let it.”
― Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing: The Best of Year One

“Felix just sat there, not smirking exactly - or not so as you could call him on it - but clearly happy with how unhappy he'd managed to make all of us.”
― Sarah Monette, The Virtu

“Claiming to be offended is a great way to elevate yourself at the expense of others: “Look at me! I'm a much better person than you! And I judge you! I condemn you! Shame! Shame! SHAME! I shame you for being a bad person. That means I'm a good person! Look at how really really offended I am! That means I'm a really really good person!”

According to the bible, Jesus said "let he who is without sin throw the first rock." But a lot of people seem to think he said: "If you throw rocks at someone else, it proves that you're without sin.”
― Oliver Markus Malloy, Why Creeps Don't Know They're Creeps - What Game of Thrones can teach us about relationships and Hollywood scandals

“Warren Cox, God knew, was no prize; a commercial person, a sales person, the kind of man who said things like "x numbers of dollars". At lunch today, laboriously trying to explain some business procedure, he had said "x number of dollars" three times.”
― Richard Yates, Cold Spring Harbor

“There's a difference between playing it cool and being a jerk.”
― Oscar Auliq-Ice

“The Guardian's headline is 'How Going Green May Make You Mean.' We're inclined to think the chain of causation runs the other way—that people who are jerks to begin with gravitate toward verdant sanctimony.”
― James Taranto

“They decide all of that in the office. And in their smart little conferences. The teachers, they sit around in this big circle jer-jerk and all they say is Yeah, Yeah, Right, Right. All they give a fuck about is whether you behaved yourself in grammer school and what the town thinks of your family.”
― Stephen King, The Body

“But think about this, maybe even though there are infinite versions of you, maybe every single one of them is an asshole.”
― Steve Toutonghi, Side Life

“There’s a fine line between being impish and being a passive-aggressive jerk.”
― Nitin Namdeo

“Anyone could be an idiot or a jerk, separately, but the combination of ignorance and meanspiritedness--that was special.”
― Jean Hanff Korelitz, The Plot

“Remove this quote from your collection
“No one is perfect. This is the naked truth we all have to accept. And who the hell has said there are perfect ones, by the way? We won’t ever be perfect. There are Machiavellian aspects (not that worse kind of malicious behavior) in us. One of these aspects is acting obsequiously towards others in order to gain advantage and then backstabbing them in return. I call them fawning parasites. They are the people who are fond of picking unnecessary fights and they don’t care about their actions. What’s important to them is only their side just TO JUSTIFY THEIR MEANS. Oh, I’ve just realized that the world is full of competition and others want to be just perfect jerks.”
― Bea C. Pilotin

“No one is perfect. This is the naked truth we all have to accept. And who the hell has said there are perfect ones, by the way? We won’t ever be perfect. There are Machiavellian aspects (not that worse kind of malicious behavior) in us. One of these aspects is acting obsequiously towards others in order to gain advantage and then backstabbing them in return. I call them fawning parasites. They are the people who are fond of picking unnecessary fights and they don’t care about their actions. What’s important to them is only their side just to justify their means. Oh, I’ve just realized that the world is full of competition and others want to be just perfect jerks.”
― Bea C Pilotin

“Even if the whole universe is nothing but a bunch of jerks doing all kinds of jerk-type things, there is still liberation in simply not being a jerk.”
― Brad Warner, Don't Be a Jerk: And Other Practical Advice from Dogen, Japan's Greatest Zen Master

“I don't believe that all kids are jerks sometimes, I think that parent's kid just might be a jerk. If not, then, where else would adult jerks come from?”
― W. Kamau Bell, The Awkward Thoughts of W. Kamau Bell: Tales of a 6' 4", African American, Heterosexual, Cisgender, Left-Leaning, Asthmatic, Black and Proud Blerd, Mama's Boy, Dad, and Stand-Up Comedian

“I speak of humorless people as having a moral flaw, and that's not fair. It's just like regarding it as a moral flaw that someone can't sing. An awful lot of humorless people come into this world, and they make very good Nazis.”
― Kurt Vonnegut Jr., Conversations with Kurt Vonnegut

“No one is perfect. This is the naked truth we all have to accept. And who the hell has said there are perfect ones, by the way? We won’t ever be perfect. There are Machiavellian aspects (not that worse kind of malicious behavior) in us. One of these aspects is acting obsequiously towards others in order to gain advantage and then backstabbing them in return. I call them fawning parasites. They are the people who are fond of picking unnecessary fights and they don’t care about their actions. What’s important to them is only their side just to justify their means. Oh, I’ve just realized that the world is full of competition and others want to be just perfect jerks.”
― Bea Pilotin

“Oh, I’ve just realized that the world is full of competition and others want to be just perfect jerks.”
― Bea Pilotin

“Ian is sure this display will blow over, but he hopes the police show up soon. With the amount of tax dollars he hypothetically pays, it's really not too much to ask.”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“Police internal affairs is nothing more than a bunch of jerks covering up for toxic police officers.”
― Steven Magee

“Sometimes you just have to be the bigger person and let someone know that they are being jerks.”
― Nitin Namdeo

“A brilliant jerk is one who is highly competent but whose attitude doesn’t align with company culture. If you end up hiring one by mistake, don’t keep them around for too long because they represent a living and breathing violation of the company culture, and you look like a hypocrite.”
― Binod Shankar, Let's Get Real: 42 Tips for the Stuck Manager

“I'm a muckin' gem in the refuse even when the world's ending - what the F is your excuse?”
― Aesop Rock

“Bitter+Empathy:
The emotional realization that someone never meant to hurt you, that they were just careless assholes wandering through life looking down at their phone while crossing roads (like fucking idiots). And you were just something inconsequential to them, like a single sentence, while the pain they inflicted upon you was a whole chapter.”
― S.D.G., Naked