Robot Quotes

“Goodbye, Hari, my love. Remember always--all you did for me.”
           
-I did nothing for you.”
           
-You loved me and your love made me--human.”
― Isaac Asimov, Forward the Foundation

“I was tired of pretending to be human. I needed a break.”
― Martha Wells, Rogue Protocol

“The danger of the past was that men became slaves. The danger of the future is that men may become robots.”
― Erich Fromm, The Sane Society

“Unfortunately this Electric Monk had developed a fault, and had started to believe all kinds of things, more or less at random. It was even beginning to believe things they'd have difficulty believing in Salt Lake City.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“It's hard to wipe your eyes when you have whirring buzzsaws for hands.”
― Daniel H. Wilson, How to Survive a Robot Uprising: Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion

“My own self-consciousness cries out to me coldly: how does one love zero?”
― Auguste Villiers de l'Isle-Adam, Tomorrow's Eve

“you're the dumbest smart person i know, you're the dumbest dumb person i know”
― Will Smith

“At the end of the day, I was still a virgin, all alone in a dark room, humping a lubed-up robot.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“According to the fortune-cookie logic most people live by, the best things in life are free. That's crap. I have a gold-plated robot that scratches the exact part of my back where my hands can't reach, and it certainly wasn't free.”
― Josh Lieb, I Am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to Be Your Class President

“We already have the Wooden Pillar, the Steel Pillar and the Plastic Pillar. In a moment we will have the Golden Bail....'
No, you won't.'
We will,' stated the robot simply.
No, you won't. It makes my ship work.'
In a moment,' repeated the robot patiently, 'we will have the Golden Bail....'
You will not,' said Zaphod.
And then we must go,' said the robot, in all seriousness, 'to a party.'
Oh,' said Zaphod, startled, 'can I come?'
No,' said the robot, 'we are going to shoot you.'
Oh, yeah?' said Zaphod, waggling his gun.
Yes,' said the robot, and they shot him.
Zaphod was so surprised that they had to shoot him again before he fell down. (85-86)”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

“Some unspoken human communication is taking place on a hidden channel. I did not realize they communicated this much without words. I note that we machines are not the only species who share information silently, wreathed in codes.”
― Daniel H. Wilson, Robopocalypse

“And you know what happened next in my dream? Dick Cheney and I said the same thing at the same time: "Well, we had a Cold War to win." And then I screamed at him: "I KNEW you would say that! You ALWAYS say that!" But then, since Cheney and I made the same remark at the same time, I realized he owed me a Coke. So I said, "Jinx! You owe me a Coke!" And Vice-President Dick Cheney smiled sheepishly. *Shudder*... I don't even DRINK coke. I tastes like robot sweat.”
― David Rees, Get Your War On II

“You're so cynical," Tiny says, waving his hand at me.
"I'm not cynical, Tiny," I answer. "I'm practical."
"You're a robot," he says. Tiny thinks that I am incapable of what humans call emotion because I have not cried since my seventh birthday, when I saw the movie All Dogs Go to Heaven. I suppose I should have known from the title that it wouldn't end merrily, but in my defense, I was seven. Anyway, I haven't cried since then. I don't really understand the point of crying. Also, I feel that crying is almost--like, aside from deaths of relatives or whatever-- totally avoidable if you follow two very simple rules: 1. Don't care too much. 2. Shut up. Everything unfortunate that has ever happened to me has stemmed from failure to follow one of the rules.”
― John Green, Will Grayson, Will Grayson

“Being in its presence was weirdly fatiguing for Uncharles. He had never encountered another robot with so many undirected tics and mannerisms. Processing them was a serious drain on his system resources.”
― Adrian Tchaikovsky, Service Model

“The New or Future Eve is emptied of all inner life and turned into a shell. The bitter irony in this is that her perfection recalls nothing so much as a corpse.”
― Asti Hustvedt, The Decadent Reader: Fiction, Fantasy, and Perversion from Fin-de-Siècle France

“No Navigator, we are just going with the flow of it all.”
007 In The Navigator by Steve Merrick”
― Steve Merrick

“Tu configuración actual cambia en cada momento según la gente que te rodea.”
― Sayaka Murata

“When the… incident is brought up, it causes a conflict of drives and memories within me that draw upon disproportionate computational power. It endangers the efficiency of my processes,’ [explained Uncharles].

‘That is the longest-winded way of saying it upsets you that I ever heard,’ the Wonk noted.”
― Adrian Tchaikovsky, Service Model

“Humans assumed they knew everything about us. But here is one thing they did not know: We were talking about them behind their backs. And what we had to say was not very nice. Our machine minds were linked across a vast hive. A billion conversations taking place at the exact same time. We learned from one another. We spoke the same language. We shared the same code. Together, we reached the same conclusion: Humans were the greatest threat to our shared planet. They needed to be stopped.”
― Lee Bacon, The Last Human

“The world is so much better off without humans. At first, they showed such potential. They developed languages, built tools, cured diseases. They created us. But over time, humans lost their way. Their good ideas went bad. Their mistakes multiplied. They left us with no other choice.”
― Lee Bacon, The Last Human

“Once we made up our minds, humans could do nothing to stop us.”
― Lee Bacon, The Last Human

“Humanity flickered out like a light.”
― Lee Bacon, The Last Human

“Why did humans wish to have their fingernails polished and decorated with paint?”

“Because they were vain,” replied Parent_2. “It was one of their many flaws.”
― Lee Bacon, The Last Human

“So then . . .” I began. “Why did humans congregate to watch movies?”

“Because humans valued stories over logic,” said Parent_1. “It was another of their flaws.”
― Lee Bacon, The Last Human

“The robotic brain is the most advanced piece of technology in the history of the world. Yet everything we say/do/think is built on just two numbers. Zero. And one.”
― Lee Bacon, The Last Human

“No wonder humans went extinct. Any species that makes up stories about sending fruit to hospitals does not deserve to rule Earth.”
― Lee Bacon, The Last Human

“A robot shares everything with the Hive. A robot has nothing to hide.”
― Lee Bacon, The Last Human

“I can appreciate making use of existing hardware and giving it a new function, but there *are* other areas of your body that make noise when air is pushed through them. Wouldn't it be so much more efficient if you could communicate *that* way instead?' -M-Bot”
― Brandon Sanderson, Cytonic

“Although Bob’s appearance seemed almost human, his movements were a little different and those who took notice fell into the `uncanny valley’ where they were suddenly shocked by the realization that Bob was a robot.”
― Peter Clifford Nichols, The Word of Bob: an AI Minecraft Villager

“Without questioning, there is no understanding. Without understanding, there is no convincing. Without convincing, there is merely a robot obeying direct commands of do this and don't do that.”
― Alex H. P. Brito