Finland was in mourning Tuesday after a shooting at Viertola school in Vantaa, where one 12-year-old child died and two were seriously injured. The suspected shooter is also aged twelve.
Parents of young children must wrestle not only with their own feelings, but also with the challenge of discussing the topic with their children, many of whom will have heard about the tragedy through social media or other sources.
Tatjana Pajamäki, head of Mannerheim League for Child Welfare's (MLL) phone and digital helplines, answers four common questions for adults who have to support children and young people through this difficult time.
Crisis support helplines and general information on mental health services can be found at the end of this article.
1. What should I do if a child directly witnessed or experienced the incident?
Children who were in some way involved in the event may need crisis support, and it should be provided to those who are directly affected. Support and follow-up are important for their well-being down the track.
However, other children and young people, not directly involved, follow the media and could discuss the incident with their peers or with adults.
It is important to create a sense of security for children and young people and, if possible, arrange for adults to be nearby with whom they can discuss the matter. Now it is really important to convey safety and peace.
2. Generally, how should the issue be approached with adults and young people?
This is shocking and sad news, which is distressing even to adults. It is nonetheless important that you stay calm when talking to a child or young person.
If the matter upsets you as an adult, it is good to have a conversation with another adult first, to avoid unintentionally transferring your own anxiety and upsetting the child or young person. They have different ways of dealing with such situations, so it is good to protect them.
You can tell a child that "this shocks and saddens me as well". A good guideline for a conversation with a child is to invest mostly in listening and asking questions, i.e. asking the child or young person what's on their mind and what scares them.
It is good to answer the child's questions honestly according to the information you know, and of course taking the child's age into account. Answer truthfully, but try not to stir up uncertainty and fear, and keep your explanations general.
It is not necessary to constantly follow the events and know the exact details. As an adult, the best way to help is to be calmly present throughout a situation.
3. Can events trouble the child or young person for a long time?
Hearing about the incident can have a strong impact on some children and young people, even if they have not been involved in the incident directly.
Often they have had traumatic or difficult experiences of their own in the recent past. Such events can activate different memories and they may become anxious. It is good to be sensitive with these children and young people and assess what kind of support they might need in discussing the issue.
It is also good to note that someone may not necessarily want to discuss this matter with an adult, and that too must be respected. Children and young people should not be forced to talk.
You can come back to the topic later, especially if, as an adult, you feel that a child or young person is worried, scared or distressed, but may be unable to put this into words: "Hey, I notice that you have something on your mind. Would you like to tell me more about it?”
The ideal would be for children and young people to have adults on hand who they can turn to if necessary, if shocking events begin to distress them.
4. Where to go from here?
For now, it is important to create a sense of security. Adults should be on hand and offer the opportunity to focus on normal everyday life. The most important thing is that the children, young people and families who are impacted get the necessary support.
Find support in English
MIELI Crisis Helpline offers support in English between 9am-1pm on Fridays on 09 2525 0116. Their site also advises calling the Swedish or Arabic language helplines for mental health crisis support in English: 09 2525 0112 / 09 2525 0113
Trauma Centre Finland can assist with individual, family and group therapy, as well as providing training to professionals working with traumatised people.
Vantaa Info have gathered a set of resources and offer general service counselling related to the City of Vantaa. Vantaa Info's service points are located in Korso, Myyrmäki and Tikkurila.
For general advice on mental health visit the Finnish Central Association for Mental Health website.
